This morning I woke up very early as is becoming my norm. Listening to the chirping of the birds and watching the glow of the early morning sunrise. I then found myself making myself a cup of coffee, as is my morning ritual, and staring out at our back garden.

The same back window that I stared out of three years ago with tears exploding out of my eyes and an elephant sitting on my chest. I was gasping for air, the pain so intense I believed in that moment I was going to die. My mind was struggling to comprehend what was happening and I was unable to see or imagine beyond my current moment. My head ached from all the tears and trying to process everything amongst the dense fog of unbelief. The many unanswered questions floating around in my head smashing against one another only intensifying my headache.

Today was different. The sadness is still there, however I feel that as sense of acceptance has set in, a sense that I have managed to walk this journey of three years and I am still moving forward, all be it slowly but the movement is forward.

So how did I get here. Well it would be foolish to believe that I did it on my own. Yes I had to face my grief journey, yes I had to make the steps along the journey no matter how painful. I am cognisant that there have been many people, hurting from the loss of Yolanda, and others who had experienced their own losses in life just reaching out and helping in various ways to assist. To all I am extremely grateful as your selfless acts of love and kindness have enabled me to experience some healing but most importantly to be there for our girls.

Lastly but certainly not least I thank my Heavenly Father who patiently heard my prayers of anguish, frustration, anger, confusion and place different people into my life at just the right time. A time when I was ready and able to make the next step.

For those who read and follow my blog may you be richly blessed, for those who have been involved in my journey I wish to thank you for being available to be there at just the right time.

All glory be to our Father in heaven.

4 thoughts on “Reflection 301

  1. Ditto. I would never have made it without the support of my Comfort Family. Those people became God’s instruments…..
    Through them He became God with skin on at times when I grappled with the fact that He is unseen. Yet He became flesh in the people that held me close and comforted me. Thank you all for showing me the heart of the Father for the broken

  2. It’s a beautiful reflection on learning to climb the mountain in stead of carrying it. And how wonderful it is to realise that God wants us to lean on each other and therefore allow people in our circle to assist in eating the elephant piece by piece. God bless you and your girls!

  3. Indeed a very long and winding road to reach the top of the mountain. We stumble along the way and fall now and then. Up we get and move forward climbing further.
    I have been so blessed to have the comfort of many people in my life assisting me in yhe long walk of grief. My special family and Griefshare friends have held me clise and lifted me to where I am today.
    Your inspiring movements with your two girls and being part of your journey has given me hope and love keeping me in line rach time I have fallen. In November, a rock came rumbling down and I had a very bad fall on my journey of grief losing my only member of my unit suddenly which has set me back a bit but I still move forward with God’s assistance in trying to overcome this unfortunate event in the struggle that we both face.
    Grief is a personal journey for each one but we are indeed around to assist one another.
    Inspiring words of your journey so far.
    You are an example of an exceptional human giving of your best to everyone. God Bless you and your beautiful loving girls. Thank you Sean for being part of my journey 🙏

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