Sometimes I ask why? Why did Yolanda have to leave us at this critical time in the lives of our two precious daughters? Why didn’t we see this coming and be better prepared? Why Yolanda and not me? Surely Yolanda and the girls would have been better off at handling all of the chaos and confusion that reigns down on our new family unit from time to time? Why, why and a million more why’s. Just never any clear cut answers.
Sometimes I feel as if I am going to conquer the world, I will learn how to bring balance and reason into the lives of our family. I will get up and tackle the new day with a vigour and energy never seen before. I will live with purpose and an eagle eye focus. Surely this is how Yolanda would have want us to move forward.
Sometimes I just lie in bed late at night after the girls have gone to bed and allow the loneliness to wash over me. The tears flow down my cheeks, the memories of the good and tough times that we had battled through together. Good and tough times that I will now face alone.
Sometimes I just wonder what the next step will be.