So as I have been working through my books and online lectures I have seen that our worldview has such a large impact on how we handle grief, both positively and negatively. I have been challenged as I have been reading and realising that my world views are just that, mine. They aren’t necessarily right or wrong.
I am currently studying a counselling course. My motivation and driver behind this idea to study was to utilise my experience of loss, the pain, the uncertainty and the million other emotions wrapped into this ball called grief, to help others who find themselves in the same or similar situation. I am determined that the loss of my wife, my best friend, my counsellor, my pillar of strength, my everything can be turned into something positive and useful. She wouldn’t have wanted me to curl up into a ball of nothingness.
One view that I held for some time was that my life had become my worst nightmare. So guess what my take home was each day as my head crashed to the pillow seeking desperately needed sleep. Nothing positive I can tell you. It was only after I realised that the darkness was as a result of the “glasses” I was using to examine my life. I had been viewing all the pain and anguish as being negative, now neither are pretty by the wildest of imaginations, however they where and still a sign of something far better and beautiful. Love, that is the loved that I received unconditionally and the fact that I was able to love. With these new lenses I was able to view and approach pain etc. with a far more positive approach.
Another view that I held was that I wouldn’t be able to cope. This view had the effect of making everything a burden, a hated chore. It only added to the depression and when I struggled with making a meal or shopping I utilised these experiences to affirm my view. Changing the my view in this area is still a work in progress. I am slowly learning to see these Everest in my life as challenges and no longer insurmountable obstacles.
It is only when we take a moment to change the glasses through which we view the world that we are able to move forward.
Look forward to your comments below.