Yolanda passed away 20 months ago. Sometimes it feels as if her passing was just yesterday and on other days it appears as a vision on a distant horizon.

Life has changed forever. It has changed for all who had interacted with Yolanda. Even though she was a mere 1.39m in height she certainly occupied a far larger space in all of our lives. With her death we can all feel robbed in the cruelest of ways. I however believe that we all had to exam our loss and the massive destruction caused in our lives. This examination would highlight the gigantic gaps in our life skill set. Death has caused us to be confronted by these real observations, we are mortal, we will experience death and loss in our lives, we need a support system, we are not in control, we will need to learn and acquire new skills. All of this will seem to be very overwhelming, at times it felt as if I was drowning and that I wouldn’t be able to survive. There were times when I felt strong and emboldened to take on the challenge. I learnt to live in the moment and focus on the next step.

I have gained a greater appreciation for life and the relationships that surround me. I have acquired a greater understanding of those who are going through similar journeys. I have also been able to look at the positives in this “nightmare” in which I find myself playing one of the lead characters.

Deaths gift has been a different perspective on life. A perspective that I am grateful for as I believe it has added to my life skill set. So in some weird and wonderful way by circumstances beyond my control I am being molded by an artist who loves and admires his work. An artist who patiently and skillfully tweaks and adjusts his sculpture until he is satisfied with the finished product.

3 thoughts on “Deaths Gift

  1. Your living in the moment and facing the next step has sometimes a large impact on your further movements as you try to adjust and juggle between all the things that once were between 2 of you which sometimes can be quite a challenge. But from what I have observed you certainly are winning in most aspects even though a lot of what was your free time is now otherwise challenged as you make sure all the necessary requirements for your daughters are met. It is mind taxing as to what the next step can sometimes be if the unexpected situation arises but somehow you with your wisdom will overcome as that is who you are. Your girls have become survivors of what everything has become and seem to be adjusting quite well under the circumstances. Not being around your household situations at all I cannot comment as there are some I do not and will never know how you are meant to cope. From my observation, your father/mother role that you now holding can be taxing as you face each waking day. They have grown ten fold since that dreadful day you all lost the most important role model in all of your lives. Keep on keeping on doing your best each time as your best is the best you can do. Your daughters are survivors of the situation although dreadfully sad deep down. You are an awesome father and for that I hold high esteem in your excellent approach to trying your absolute best at all times. Well done. My best to you and your beautiful daughters always.

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