Yip that dreaded day arrived. To the rest of the world it is called “Mother’s day”. A day where most recognise the role mothers play in our lives. In our household we have decided to call it “Parent Day”. In theory this was a magnificent plan to enable us to side step the deep unsatisfied pain of losing a Mom. As the writer of numerous blogs one would expect that at least I should have known that there is no side step in grief.
So today I went to church knowing that there was a good possibility of this day being mentioned, who wouldn’t. Little did I expect to be rocked to my core.
The role of mothers and those standing in the place of mothers being a topic for the day. Ripped and shredded my heart was wanting this part of the service to be over. Fully knowing that this part of the service was also bringing comfort and warmth to others. Was I being selfish? Maybe those experiencing the comfort were being selfish? Or even better still could it just be that each of us were experiencing the same message differently based on our experiences and current state of mind.
As a family we went about starting our new normal. Parent day will be with us for many years. It is a reminder of how things have changed. I am no longer a Dad trying to be Mom, let’s be honest that would be attempting the impossible. So I am now the “parent”. So what is a “parent”, well in my opinion it is a merger between Mom and Dad however I can no longer fully be one or the other.
Crazy you might think, or you might not agree, however this is how I see it going forward. Honestly speaking life changed the day Yolanda died so has my role in our family.
I am now the “Parent”.