Recently someone asked me how I was adapting to the life of being a single parent. I am not sure how I answered, my brain is still a bit foggy. It however got me thinking about this concept of being a single parent.
After considering this for a short while the answer become clearer. In fact it is so clear now that it has become my conviction. I am a one and half parent. I have mentioned this to a few people and I get this quizzical look staring back at me. Is it because we are so fixated on our physical world that we fail to realize that we are more than our physical beings. We are the sum total of all of our life experiences and interactions with those around us. This makes us both physical and spiritual beings.
As I came to this conclusion I also gained a sense of encouragement for my journey ahead. I must be honest the thought of being a single parent scares the you know what out of me.
So how do I journey forward. I have two beautiful intelligent daughters to raise and to prepare them as best I can for their journey ahead. Well the good news is, “Not alone”.
After having Yolanda in my life for close on 26 years. 19 of those years being married, I can safely say her influence will live with me for the remainder of my days here on earth. One very significant part of our wedding ceremony was when the pastor took two eggs. He indicated that one was Yolanda and the other me. He then cracked open the eggs into a mixing bowl and proceeded to mix them. He then asked can you see Yolanda or Sean.
This was the life we lead. We operated as a team. There wasn’t a Sean or a Yolanda. For this I am extremely grateful. Yolanda’s physical presence is no longer with us however her legacy will be with all of us for a very long time to come.
One of the toughest things I have had to learn is cooking for my family. However Yolanda lives on through the example she set. She was focussed on providing all of us with healthy nutritious meals. Although this has and still is challenging for me I somehow sense her encouraging me to continue with this approach. Just as an example she would pack amazing nutritious lunch boxes for our girls. I am happy to say that each day when I send the girls to school with the same or similar lunch box I feel that Yolanda is smiling down at me. That is motivation like no other.
Another area that confirms for me that I am not alone is the work ethic displayed by both girls towards school work. Both girls have not missed a day of school. Both girls are doing exceptionally well in academics and sport. This is Yolanda’s influence working again and again.
So am I a single parent. No I am not! Although I no longer have Yolanda’s presence physically I have her spiritual presence helping and guiding me along this journey. I can and do mourn the loss of my best friend and partner. I however am learning that I can also celebrate her spiritual presence. Simply put happy and sad all in one emotion.
I can proudly proclaim that I am one and a half parent. Thank you to Yolanda coming into my life even though our time together was shorter than hoped. I know with confidence that her legacy and presence lives on.